


Sans gets a call from the president

by MasonMinor



Category: Undertale
Genre: Crazy Uncle, M/M, Randomness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-26
Updated: 2017-01-26
Packaged: 2018-09-20 00:46:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 597
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9468002
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MasonMinor/pseuds/MasonMinor
Summary: Sans gets a call from Trump





	

Sans regurgates awkwardly with all of his clothes on in a full bathtub when suddenly he gets a phone call. It's his crazy nudest weird creepy uncle who wants him to come and help him move a love seat to his new apartment.

Sans lies to him and says,"Uh, I'm sorry but I can't help you because I am- uh, helping the President of the United States save the world!"

Sans hangs up on the now angry family member and relaxes in the tub until he gets another phone call.

A tiny President Trump tells Sans, "Hi, I'm President Donald Trump! I need your help, you boneheaded bag of shit. I need you to do three very important things or America will be destroyed!"

A sensual Sans sexts from the tub and says, "Of course, Mr President Donald Trump. I'll do anything you need me to."

The President tells him, "The first thing you need to do is suck yourself with a huge ice pop 123,456,789 times."

Sans tells the President, "Roads? Where we're going, we don't need roads!" And he wiggles out of the tub.

In the Kitchen, Sans is about to suck himself with a huge Ice pop, but he then gets freaked out and he fakes it

President Trump screams, "LOOK HERE, YOU SLIMY COCK NAZI! I have 1,000 SECURITY CAMERAS SET UP IN YOUR HOUSE AND I KNOW THAT YOU'RE LYING!"

It is revealed that President Trump is now in the same room as Sans. Trump threatens Sans with a pencil. Trump tells Sans, "Now you better do it you bonehead bitch!"

Sans sexily says, "Did you just fart? Because you blew me away."

President Trump angrily exclaims, "STOP TRYING TO BUTTER ME UP AND GET TO IT!"

Sans reluctantly sucks himself 123,456,789 times. President Trump watches him like a poised creep, telling him, "Mmmm, you suck that well."

The President regains his composure, "Okay, now it's time for your second task to save America. You need to attract a drunk old man with your rectum."

Sans finds a drunk old man and happily does his task, "Hi, you drunk stinky old man!" 

Sans points his rectum at the old man and says, "My love for you is like diarrhea, I just can't hold it in."

The old man spits beer out of his mouth and says, "That's so hot!"

President Trump records the whole thing on his futuristic old woman's bra with a camera built in. The President then says, "Okay, now for your final task, do a lap dance while singing A Spoonful of Sugar by Mary Poppins and bouncing dynamite on your head."

Sans does this while Trump dances along in the corner making cat noises. Sans suddenly trips and drops the dynamite and chops his head off. President Trump sees this and laughs like Towlie from South Park. Trump then rips off a mask to reveal that he is -in fact- Sans' crazy nudest weird creepy uncle!

He tells Sans, "You should have helped me move my love seat. I had to move it to the 15th floor all by myself."

Sans cries ketchup and says, "Well, I learned my lesson. If I'd have never lied to family, I would still have my body and stuffs."

Sans' head is then put into a box and he says, "I guess I didn't get a-HEAD of the situation."

He laughs at his own pun for 23 straight seconds without stopping. He then dies of hunger because he has no arms to feed himself.

 

THE END

**Author's Note:**

> I don't know what I was thinking


End file.
